Journal entry: September 7, 2010

Today I am thankful for another day of life. By good bud “Caly” is letting us sleep in her spare room for now but we discovered that the plan she came up with to help us won’t work. She owns her mobile home but has a lease agreement with the owners of the park her home is set in. She has ESRD and isn’t making enough money to survive, more so now because her employer paid insurance is forcing her to go on Medicare B but we just found out that she has to pay the premiums for Medicare part B plus the premiums on her employer paid insurance. Originally, she thought she could help us by saying that I was her caregiver because of her health and that would give her a roommate and a safe person in the house in case she has a stroke like the last time when I found her sitting on her living room couch alone. Come to find out, that if the landlord objects to my being here, they can request that “Caly” prove she is disabled and needs 24-hour care in order for the landlord to make “reasonable accomodations” for a loss of revenue because I’m not paying rent. “Caly” can’t afford to go on disability even though she qualifies because she would only get a little over $1,000.00 a month. The landlords just sent everyone in the park a notice of all the rents going up to $647.00. “Caly’s” prescriptions alone add up to hundreds of dollars, add to that utilities, food and insurance copays, her mortgage payments and car payments and you will see that she is paying out more than she’s bringing in. If she can’t afford to keep her home, she will be forced to live out of her car. I doubt this is a good situation for a dialysis patient.

My teenager overheard us talking late last night and my heart broke. She told me she just couldn’t go back to living out of a vehicle. She told me before that she couldn’t take being homeless and would rather commit suicide. I told her that I will do what I can to make things better but it’s not going to happen overnight. At least the mini-van is a decent one in a lot better condition than our run down rv was. I know this is bad timing since tomorrow is her first day at the local high school out here. “Caly” lives in a rural town and there isn’t much out here. The only thing that will save us is the mini-van.

My youngest was up all night vomiting because she caught a bad cold and watching her made my stomach turn to knots. She is prone to sinus infections like I am and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because we spend alot of time outdoors. I am praying that I don’t have another migraine seizure. The last one put me in the emergency room and I was paralyzed for a week. The last thing I need is to be incapacitated behind the wheel yet somehow I drove that old rv up a hill to get help because I could feel the left side of my body going numb. I racked up a hospital bill that I still can’t afford to pay back because of that incident. The babysitter I had at that time was a godsend. They parked my rv at a friend’s garage and let me sleep in their room because I couldn’t walk and my motor skills took awhile to come back “online.” The specialists and doctors I got sent to see originally diagnosed me with Meniere’s Disease but then said it wasn’t that. One specialist said he suspected that the migraine/seizure thing I had did something to me because to this day, I still have bouts of vertigo. I suspect, that is the accumulated affects of working two jobs seven days a week for years. For us, it doesn’t matter when the doctor says “go home and rest.” 

Today I fill out FAFSA forms for another two years of college. The thought occurred to me that thanks to our new president, there will be more educated homeless people than ever before. The new program for single mom’s to go back to school is great but what good is a degree if there are no jobs in the field you studied for? The student loans I have are due immediately upon graduation if I’m not in school. Tomorrow I will make my first drive in the mini-van to put my extra stuff in. I told “Caly” that the only thing we will have on us is our dufflebags of clothes and sleeping bags so that we are ready to leave in a second.  

Another thing I am thankful for is free internet at the local libraries!

About invisibull

Let's see now, what should I say on here to make people think I'm more interesting than I actually am...I'm a single mother of two with a passion for helping others less fortunate than myself. I like to write, finished a book and am working on another. Other than that I live a real-life video game where the goal is to get out of homelessness and provide a better future for my kids. Peace!
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3 Responses to Journal entry: September 7, 2010

  1. BFG says:

    If there was a magic wand I could wave to make life better for you and especially for your girls, I would do so in a heartbeat and so would my wife.

    The next best thing is a link to your blog from mine, which I have just set up. I doubt it will drive much traffic to your site since mine is not heavily visited, but it’s a start.

    If I come up with any Brilliant Ideas that might help you along, I’ll be in touch. Until then, chin up and ignore the Bar Stewards who try to grind you down!

  2. Belinda Andrews says:

    I am just feeling so very sad for you & your girls. I hope nothing dangerous will come to you living out of a vehicle. Females are particularly vulnerable. How can America allow this happen to its people?!

  3. BFG says:

    Hi Indy

    If you would like to talk via email about tech writing I’m happy to answer any questions, as anonymously as you prefer. It helps if you have access to a computer wherever you’re staying, but the library is as good a resource as any if you don’t. One of my friends who was homeless for six months kept in touch largely through email accessed at libraries (he even managed to do a little writing too).

    You’re welcome to drop me a line at, or post comments into any page on my blog – whatever you feel comfortable with. I always check things like the SPAM folder so your email should never go astray.

    Self-publishing (for example, the book you wrote for your daughter) for the eReader type devices can be a zero-cost option with the right choices, and might eventually yield some useful income (but always keep track of expenses as well; the IRS will want their pound of flesh at some point). It also *might* (plenty of emphasis there) lead to contact from a literary agent and/or the possibility of being approached by a studio, but don’t hold your breath, obviously.

    There is free emulation software available for the Amazon Kindle so you can format your work and then see how it will most likely look on a Kindle without actually having to buy one. The prices are still a bit high IMHO but they’ll be coming down rapidly (probably to as little as $50 by the middle of next year).

    Other things to consider publishing: if you have a camera (especially a digital one), when you’re out and about take photos of anything that looks remotely interesting (even clumps of trees!). You could put together a simple calendar (there are even sites that take your photos and generate a calendar that can be printed and sold – but obviously they don’t do this for free) and maybe make a little money that way. I know I’m going to have to try that route!

    Caly also probably has a story or two to tell; even your girls may come up with other ideas (it might give them something positive to focus on).

    I tend to look more towards self-publishing like that simply because other publishers (both orthodox and ePublishers) will demand all the rights to your work and give you very little in return, even if what you’ve written turns out to be a roaring global success and makes them millions. Sad, but a fact of life.

    Good luck, and by all means bend my ear if you want to.

    Kind regards,

    Peter Brooks aka BFG

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