Journal entry: September 10

The kids made it to school on time this morning and for once this week, it wasn’t raining. While waiting at the bus stop with my youngest, I am extra careful about not talking too much with the other parents. How do I know one of them won’t tell the wrong people that we are staying with Caly and not on the lease? On a good note, Caly was able to get an interview with the local newspaper to do a small paper route for extra income. She’s gonna need it to help pay for Medicare Part B. I think it’s stupid for her to be forced to go on Medicare, and pay for it, because her employer paid insurance will shift all claims for ESRD to Medicare but not give her any kind of price break on premiums.

 I have a major assignment due today but after I turn it in, I have to pack our extra stuff into the mini-van and put it into storage. Caly and I are gearing up for noise from the landlords. By taking our bikes to storage, there won’t be an advertisement under her carport that other people are staying with her.

I’ve decided to make garlic clove tea for all of us to drink to build our immunity systems. Soon the flu season will be here and we need to stay healthy. I need to get new sleeping bags for us as the cheap ones we got from WalMart a few years ago are well matted and I’m sure they won’t insulate well. The other thing is going to the Army/Navy Surplus store to pick up a box of hand warmers. These things work great. They last about 8 hours and stuffed into a sleeping bag, work like a heating blanket without having to worry about carbon monoxide poisoning like I did in the rv when I used a Coleman catalytic heater. I had to leave the windows cracked for ventilation but it kept us warm when Seattle had an icy freeze and snow dump a few years ago. I remember having to stay in a grocery store parking lot for two days because the roads were messed up and it took 4 hours to go 6 blocks because people didn’t know how to drive in it and cars were backed up all over the place. Seattle caught hell that year because the mayor had decided not to use salt or anything on the roads and it took forever for the road crews to get out and sand everything.

When I woke up this morning, I was coughing and hacking but now I know I have a sinus infection. At least I can kill it by boosting my immune system and using a nasal spray to shrink my sinuses to let the air circulate better. Getting more sleep always makes me heal faster but I don’t always have that option.

My thoughts have been jumping ahead to my teen’s birthday in October. I blame myself for her not having birthdays for the last few years, or any other holidays for that matter. Maybe even more so now because she’s turning 16. Even though she has accepted our situation, I know she wants a birthday party that she can invite friends to. She has this thing going on right now where she is determined not to make any friends and just be a loner. I was a loner during school years when I was younger but my reasons for doing so were very different than hers, I had two jobs. She has come to the conclusion that her peers cannot be trusted and she has been hurt many times when she thought people were her friends. The one true friend she has had since the 7th grade is still her friend but lives in another town so they haven’t been able to hang out like they used to. The mother of her friend is a good friend of mine who has known about our situation and lets my teen spend the nights on occasional weekends to help her “get away”.

We got invited to go to my brother’s surprise birthday party tonight but after last night, I don’t know. His attitude irked me. The other thing is, I’m not sure we should go. We will be around people who don’t fully understand or know our situation and questions will undoubtedly arise, like where do you live? Where do you work? I worry because my teen always looks at other relatives and sees that their life is better than ours. Then she gets angry inside. On the other hand, perhaps if we don’t stay too long and just stay for dinner, it won’t be so bad. I will leave it up to her if she wants to go.

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About invisibull

Let's see now, what should I say on here to make people think I'm more interesting than I actually am...I'm a single mother of two with a passion for helping others less fortunate than myself. I like to write, finished a book and am working on another. Other than that I live a real-life video game where the goal is to get out of homelessness and provide a better future for my kids. Peace!
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