Journal entry: Septmeber 27

Oh thank god! My financial aid went through and the notices about repaying my student loans have stopped! That’s one less thing I have to stress over! Now I just have to get a regular income going so I don’t feel like such a loser…..

I think Caly went back to work today but she also has dialysis right after. I just hope it doesn’t wear her down too much but we’ll see.

The mini-van needs a tune up badly but until I get paid, I’m stuck. The storage unit rental is due on the first and that’s only a few days away. Once again I find myself juggling to pay bills without a job! I hope the financial award is here before October because I really need to pay that storage unit. I’m working on downsizing it but I still have to pay for gas to and from it even if I dump everything at a thrift store. I just hope the van doesn’t break down in the middle of nowhere not for myself but because it will interfere with getting stuff to Nickelsville.

I am starting to get annoyed with my mother as she seems to feel the need to keep asking on my Facebook page who else is donating besides herself, Caly and I. Really? You have to know you’re not the only one because what, somehow you don’t have the compassion to help out on your own?? I don’t share much with her because there’s never been a mother/daughter relationship between us, something I won’t repeat with my own girls. When I feel myself getting annoyed or frustrated with people, I step back, breathe deeply and meditate. It is no wonder things ar harder than they need to be. People are their own worst enemy because they tend to walk around with blinders on. Why is it we tend to see the world only through our perspective instead of trying to see another’s?

Today I really observed and interacted with the folks on Twitter thanks to Mr. Horvath. I have to admit that I didn’t know what to think when Josie from change.org sent me an introduction email about him. Yes, I saw posts on the site with his name on it and read his story but never did I think I’d actually talk to him or chat with him over the internet. I felt intimidated by him because I saw all this stuff he was doing to help others but now I see he has the same worrys as the rest of us. I hope (like the rest of us) he doesn’t stress out too much about the next project or what he’s going to do after his road trip is done. They say where one door closes, another one opens.There is a fire inside his soul that most don’t have. I see in him a compassion many fear to embrace and that is a rarity among men I think. The world needs more like him and for his sake, our sakes, I hope his compassion never burns out.

“The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.  The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light.” 

~Felix Adler

P.S. – Thanks to my sense of humor, it won’t be long before Mr. Horvath regrets showing me how to get on Twitter!

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About invisibull

Let's see now, what should I say on here to make people think I'm more interesting than I actually am...I'm a single mother of two with a passion for helping others less fortunate than myself. I like to write, finished a book and am working on another. Other than that I live a real-life video game where the goal is to get out of homelessness and provide a better future for my kids. Peace!
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