Well it seems like quite a few friends are out looking for a transmission and affordable mechanic for me. I thank everyone for all their well wishes and willingness to help me out! But for those of you who know me, you know I am also trying to support myself through my writing, regardless of the things that happen that seem to weigh me down. Hence the reason for self-publishing my poetry on Kindle.
See, for those of us “out here”, we don’t have the money to pay for hard copy books or set up sites with all the fancy bells and whistles on them. So I put a small collection of some of the poems I wrote on Kindle because I want folks to see that even when things seem hopeless, they aren’t. As long as you don’t give up and don’t lose hope, you’re never really lost. Take your experiences and share them with others. How do you know who you will reach or affect? You won’t unless you’re willing to try.
I come from a warrior society so I was raised to keep on fighting even if it means fighting alone. I want to reach out to all you single mothers and fathers out there who know exactly what it’s like to be homeless with kids. You know what it is to feel abandoned, to feel like you aren’t doing what a good parent should because of homelessness. Our kids know what’s it like to feel ashamed of our “homeless secret”. It’s time to come out into the open!
Losing my jobs (I had two) and having no family support is the reason my kids and I are homeless but….I won’t let my girls see me giving up, there’s just too much at stake. My teen has felt like our living situation has to be hidden because of what other kids might think at school. When 60 minutes aired their piece on homeless kids, I made them watch it. A faint smile crawled across my teen’s face in recognition of what homelessness felt like to her. She finally got to see that she’s not alone and that there are far more homeless kids in this country than she thought. She even told me that she has decided to start some kind of charity effort with her classmates to help other homeless kids. Can’t put into words how I felt after she said that.
There are just too many of you out there that have no clue about what’s happening out here. I saw it through the driver’s side of my rv everyday and this is the very reason I will never stop fighting to help my homeless brethren. That is why my little book of poems is titled “Writings from the driver’s side.”
Here’s a poem from that collection:
Angst “I” at ease
Anxieties, worries, stresses, strain, unknown futures calling me
Nothing guaranteed, knowing that I won’t be free
Silent tears, hidden pain, when a new day will I see?
I saw my reflection the other day, past a window on display but….
The woman I saw, who looked like me, couldn’t remember what she used to be
Thinking back to childhood days, soft green grass and summer days, I never thought
I’d see a different reality, a different me
Blue, green, yellow, black, wish I could get my life back, but wishing on a star
That’s just fantasy. I’ve got to find a way back to me. I once met a girl, she was nineteen
She sat nearby, watching me. Somehow she guessed, somehow knew, guess she’s seen a few
“Be careful,” she said quietly, “you’ll lose your mind out here.” I watched her then, sitting there
Wondering how long she wandered through nowhere.
Sun gone down, the night is black, looking up I see its tracks
The Great Bear, it shines the way, sometimes the only one who hears me pray
No matter what I do or what I say, how come things are still this way?
I think about the people who, when asked to help, didn’t come through.
Excuses plenty, yes I’ve heard every, and even though with that mindset
They should know I won’t forget
I’ve learned a lot on the way, when to run and where to stay and stranger still
I can’t give up, never will. Eyes are watching, young and new, watching everything I do
When you see me walk on by, when I see you I won’t cry. You had your chance and you failed
Now I have a story to tell. Won’t be fun, not what you want to hear
Won’t be about people you have near. So while at home, snug in bed
Knowing you have nothing to dread, someone on the street,
dies tonight in their sleep.
“If they can’t feed their kids don’t breed them!” “It’s their fault they’re there”
“I don’t feel sorry for addicts and drunks” “Don’t give them money, they’ll just buy junk”
“I’m not paying for their welfare” “Not my problem so I don’t care”
This is the message society gives, this is the attitude they want to live
I find such attitudes to be odd, when did they become God? Christian charity, hah, not likely!
Conversion before giving to help the living, Forcing beliefs or no relief, they have forgotten!
One man came, one man said, “Give us now our daily bread”. There was no inclusion
No list of exclusions, apathy and indifference feeds the delusion
My mind is set, the goal is clear. With perseverance a new day is near
The system is broken, has been awhile. Sold our children down the Nile
Inadequacies are built-in addictions, that’s why you see so much affliction
It’s up to us, call it intuit, stop the excuses, just do it!
This isn’t what we’re supposed to be, stresses, strains and angst “I” at ease.
No matter what happens in life just remember that tomorrow is a new day dawning.